What do you do when you are paired in golf with a person whose behavior bothers you?
This is a question I am always asked in my workshops. Because we have so much free time to think during a round, there is a lot of time to “stew” over things that bother us.
Are you bothered by someone who gets very angry and even throws clubs, or a “Chatty Cathy” who is talking when it your turn to hit, or a slow player, or a complainer whose shots are never good enough? These kinds of distractions can keep you from focusing on your game.
The best way to handle these problems is to focus on the solution. For the most part, men and women handle these kinds of situations differently. Generally men handle annoyances by confronting them head on, often making fun of the person’s behavior. Women, on the other hand, are afraid of hurting feelings and will find solace in talking about it to the other players in the foursome.
Paying attention to the annoying person and becoming emotionally involved will elevate your scores. Think of these kinds of situations as part of the process of preparing your mind, just as you do for other challenges.
If you were playing in rain you would focus on keeping your grips dry, swinging easily, and so on. When the annoying behavior breaks your concentration, take personal responsibility by using one of the following options:
1. Ignore it. All golfers say things out of frustration and expectation. Know that we are all human and having occasional emotional outbursts is part of the game of golf.
2. Detach yourself. Move away from the person. Get out of the cart and walk and breathe deeply to relax your mind and body. Focus your attention on all of the wonderful reasons you are playing golf.
3. Confront the person’s behavior. If the person repeats his annoying behavior, tell him how it is affecting you. Communication skills are very important here so you don’t get into a shouting argument about who is right and wrong.
4. Release your frustration. Take deep breaths to calm down your emotions. Release any physical tension by taking practice swings as hard as you can before it is your time to hit.
5. Don’t play with the annoying person. The last option is to decide that you are playing golf for fun and you will not tolerate abusive behavior.
When you focus on the solution rather than the problem you create change.
Golf is a game where you have to be responsible for your behavior. Without personal responsibility, there is no self-esteem. You must be responsible for how you create your life. Positive energy works more effectively than negative energy in each and every situation.
Learn how to play “in the zone” for your peak performances. Contact Joan at info@pmi4.com or 828.696.2547 for a free 15-minute consultation. Learn what is missing in your game so you can achieve the success you desire.
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